Part 1: We Are So Certain of What Is Fate

I've been thinking about the odd certainty with which so many of us live our lives, as though our choices were perfect, as though we were never wrong, as though love were nothing important at all.  Most of us just go through the motions of every day.  We may as well be each other because we are so little in touch with our innermost self and how alone we are in this universe.

I suppose my friends are right when they say I think about more things, and more deeply, than do most others.  So I wonder how many others ever stop to question their conclusions and leave room for wonder, leave room for change.  We get so invested in being right that we slam doors and insist on locking them. Keep Out, the sign on the door insists--even to ourselves.  We only pretend to know ourselves and usually we are fantastic at judging others. We make assumptions about motives, we analyze behavior, we act with impunity towards others and never feel one ounce of remorse.  We are clueless as to how we injure the innocent because we wholeheartedly believe we are innocent ourselves.  I am sure I have been often guilty of this as a mother and that I was guilty of this as a wife.  Now, I work hard at recognizing my fallibility, but not to the point where I condemn myself.  Rather, I have become my own friend.

For years, I extended love and compassion at my own expense.  Foolish, blind, needy, but well-meaning.  So much for being enlightened!  Now I am a little wiser, a little more compassionate to myself, a little more able to laugh at how intense I am, a little more able to see how very good I am, how very true I am--but let me also admit that I still get hooked by my own thoughts and struggle with letting go.  It's a process, this whole thing of being human.

Are you open to this in your life?  








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